Building Self-Worth with Internal Family Systems | IFS Therapy
The Struggle with Self-Worth
Many people struggle with feelings of inadequacy, often shaped by childhood experiences, cultural pressures, or repeated criticism. Low self-worth can lead to perfectionism, people-pleasing, or avoiding risks. Over time, these patterns reinforce the belief that one is unworthy of love or success. This cycle can keep individuals stuck in unfulfilling relationships and careers, further damaging confidence. Recognizing these patterns is the first step toward healing.
IFS and the Critical Voice
IFS views low self-worth as a burden carried by certain parts, often influenced by an inner critic. This critical voice may say, “You’ll never be good enough” or “You always fail.” While harsh, the critic is usually trying to protect the person from rejection or humiliation. By engaging these parts with curiosity, clients begin to see that their self-doubt has a protective function. This understanding makes room for compassion instead of self-blame.
Healing Through Self-Compassion
When clients access their Self-energy, they are able to meet wounded parts with warmth and kindness. Self-energy helps parts unburden old beliefs of inadequacy and adopt healthier perspectives. Clients often notice shifts in their inner dialogue, replacing judgment with encouragement. Over time, this nurtures a deep sense of self-acceptance and resilience.
Living with Inner Confidence
Strengthening self-worth with IFS means more than feeling good about oneself — it means developing a stable foundation that supports healthy relationships and life choices. Clients often report greater confidence in pursuing goals and setting boundaries. They also find themselves more capable of handling setbacks without spiraling into shame. This lasting sense of worth fosters a richer, more fulfilling life.
Call to Action
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Peer-Reviewed References
Neff, K. D. (2003). Self-compassion: An alternative conceptualization of a healthy attitude toward oneself. Self and Identity, 2(2), 85–101.
Schwartz, R. C. (2013). Internal Family Systems Therapy. Guilford Press.
Sowislo, J. F., & Orth, U. (2013). Does low self-esteem predict depression and anxiety? A meta-analysis. Psychological Bulletin, 139(1), 213–240.