Internal Family Systems Therapy and the Inner Child

Mental Health
Written By Laura Geftman

Introduction: Why the Inner Child Still Matters

Even as adults, we carry parts of ourselves that formed in childhood. These inner child parts often hold feelings of vulnerability, fear, or longing. When ignored, they can drive patterns of self-sabotage, anxiety, or relationship struggles.

How IFS Understands the Inner Child

In IFS, the inner child is often represented by exiles — the parts that carry our deepest wounds from early life. Protective managers and firefighters work hard to keep us from feeling their pain, but that leaves the child unseen and unheard.

Healing the Inner Child with IFS

  • Building trust: Gently connecting with protective parts before approaching the inner child.

  • Witnessing: Listening to the child’s story with compassion.

  • Unburdening: Helping the child part release pain, shame, or fear.

  • Reparenting: Allowing the Self to step in and provide the love and safety that was missing.

Benefits of Inner Child Work in IFS

  • Greater emotional resilience

  • More compassion toward yourself

  • Healing from shame and self-blame

  • Healthier adult relationships

Closing Thoughts

Your inner child doesn’t need to stay stuck in pain. With IFS, you can reconnect with this part, offer the compassion it deserves, and finally feel whole.

Call to Action:
If you’d like to explore healing your inner child through IFS, I’d love to walk alongside you. Begin here.

Peer-Reviewed References:

  • Schwartz, R. C. (1995). Internal Family Systems Therapy. Guilford Press.

  • Courtois, C. A., & Ford, J. D. (2013). Treatment of Complex Trauma: A Sequenced, Relationship-Based Approach. Guilford Press.

  • Siegel, D. J. (2012). The Developing Mind: How Relationships and the Brain Interact to Shape Who We Are. Guilford Press.

Laura Geftman
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Using Internal Family Systems Therapy for Perfectionism