Why Do I Shut Down During Conflict? Understanding the Freeze Response

Why Your Body Freezes When Emotions Run High

During conflict, some people get loud, others get emotional—and some go silent. If you freeze, it may feel like you lose access to your thoughts, your voice, or your ability to express yourself. This response is often rooted in trauma, especially environments where conflict was dangerous, unpredictable, or emotionally overwhelming.

The freeze response is the body’s survival strategy when neither fighting nor fleeing feels possible. Even if you consciously know you’re safe now, your nervous system may still react to conflict as if it were a threat.

The Biology of the Freeze Response

Freeze is not a choice. It’s an automatic biological reaction where the body enters a state of immobility or shutdown. Blood flow shifts from the brain’s frontal regions to the survival centers, impairing speech, reasoning, and emotional expression. That’s why people in freeze often say things like “I couldn’t think,” “I went blank,” or “I couldn’t get any words out.”

This response can be triggered by tone of voice, facial expressions, or even the anticipation of conflict. Over time, freeze becomes habitual, making healthy communication extremely difficult.

Why You Might Not See This as Trauma

Many adults assume shutting down is a personality trait or a bad habit. But freeze is rarely random. It often originates in childhood homes where conflict was overwhelming, or from adult relationships where emotional safety was threatened. Because the memories don’t always feel dramatic, people rarely recognize them as trauma.

Still, the body remembers—even when the mind does not.

How ART Helps Release the Freeze Response

ART is particularly effective for freeze symptoms because it works with the nervous system rather than against it. Eye movements help deactivate the body’s survival circuitry while simultaneously reprocessing the emotions and images tied to conflict.

Clients report feeling more grounded during disagreements, more in control of their responses, and more able to express themselves clearly. Instead of shutting down, they feel empowered to stay present—even when emotions run high.

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Peer-Reviewed References

• Kozlowska, K. et al. (2015). The physiology of the freeze response. Frontiers in Psychology.

• Porges, S. (2011). The Polyvagal Theory.

• Schauer, M., & Elbert, T. (2010). Dissociation and trauma processing. Journal of Trauma & Dissociation.

• Kip, K. E. et al. (2013). ART for trauma symptoms. Behavioral Sciences.