When You’re Constantly Trying to “Fix Yourself”: Why You Feel Broken & How Healing Actually Works

Trauma

Jan 28

When Self-Improvement Becomes a Survival Strategy

Self-reflection is healthy. But when you feel like you’re in a constant battle to “fix” yourself—your personality, your reactions, your worth—it becomes exhausting. You may devour self-help books, journal endlessly, analyze everything, and still feel defective.

This relentless need to improve is often rooted in earlier experiences where you didn’t feel accepted as you were. You may not label them as harmful, but your nervous system internalized messages that it needed to earn approval or minimize mistakes to stay connected.

As adults, these beliefs show up as perfectionism, self-criticism, chronic dissatisfaction, and a fear of being truly seen.

Why You Feel Broken Even When You Aren’t

Your system likely learned that being yourself wasn’t safe, valued, or “enough.” These internalized beliefs shape how you interpret everything—from your relationships to your achievements. This doesn’t mean your past was terrible; it simply means there were moments where your emotional needs went unmet.

Your mind absorbed these emotional patterns and still operates using them—even years or decades later. The truth is, you were never broken. You were adapting.

How ART Helps Shift Deep Self-Beliefs

Accelerated Resolution Therapy works by updating the emotional memory networks that keep you stuck in patterns of inadequacy. ART allows you to clear out old emotional material that fuels self-judgment, without digging endlessly into the past.

People often experience:

A softer internal voice
Increased self-compassion
Reduced perfectionism
More confidence
Freedom from the constant pressure to improve

ART doesn’t aim to change who you are—it helps you reclaim who you always were.

Call to Action

If you’re exhausted from constantly trying to fix yourself, you deserve relief.
Book a session today and begin experiencing the emotional freedom ART can offer.